It was move-out day at the University of Chicago, and the iconic gargoyles kept watch on the chaos below.

Convocation weekend meant no parking. The new off-campus apartment was on the fourth floor (no elevator, naturally). The SUV was packed with a bed, mattress, desk, and chair, impossibly, but thankfully, packed into boxes courtesy of the geniuses at IKEA. This all had to be delivered to the new off-campus apartment so there would be space in the SUV to move the dorm items, including approximately 27 hoodies, out.

The day was filled with emotions. Goodbye to cozy dorm life and welcome to landlords, roommates, cleaning your own bathroom, and the game of which roommate is finally going to do the dishes.

One image that’s stayed with me from that day was one of many abandoned dorm items: an orphaned Nespresso machine. Left under a tree, beside the last open parking spot in Hyde Park, it looked like something out of an avant-garde art installation.

Why We Overpack for College Dorms

That lonely little appliance spoke volumes about how we, as parents, send our kids off to college. We send them not just with the essentials, but often with everything we can think of. And then we turn to Instagram and TikTok to see what the other parents thought of that we didn’t. The FOMO is real.

The Nespresso machine wasn’t left behind because it was forgotten or broken. It likely worked just fine. But in the chaos of finals, late-night cramming sessions, graduation, and eagerly leaving dorm rooms, the coffee machine simply didn’t make the cut. It was either too bulky, too heavy, or just too low on the list of things worth lugging back home.

Yet, at some point last fall, it was considered necessary enough to bring.

Why?

Because as parents, we want them to feel like they have a little bit of home, even though they’re living in a glorified closet. Because that Nespresso machine is a little piece of the kitchen they grew up in. Because we hope that the comfort of that perfect morning latte will help ease the transition to the big, new, maybe scary life they’re leading without us.

Because, if we’re being honest, we buy things like a Nespresso machine because everyone else is.

The Dorm Shopping Trap: Target, TikTok, and Too Much Stuff

Walk through a Target in July or August and you’ll recognize the dorm-shopping parents: carts filled with shower caddies, mini projectors, string lights, twin XL sheets, and matching pillows. So many pillows.

And yes, coffee machines.

(Which is ironic given how many places there are to get coffee on a college campus. No student has an excuse to be uncaffeinated.)

It’s okay. We all do it. Maybe we do it because of peer pressure. Maybe we do it because we don’t know what else to do to ease the transition. Mostly, we do it out of love.

 The Truth About Dorm Must-Haves

But by May or June, many of the things we thought were essential in the aisles of Target or on our Amazon wish list become just one more thing to leave behind.

As parents, we want to send our students off to college prepared. But fancy coffee machines, neon lights, and an abundance of throw pillows aren’t the same as being prepared.

Sometimes, less truly is more. Dorms are small. Schedules are packed. And students, especially first-years, are often figuring things out on the fly.

Yes, they’ll need comfort. But they’ll also need to know how to deal with a bit of discomfort. If getting through the year without a Nespresso machine is the most formidable challenge they experience, count your lucky stars.

Let this orphaned Nespresso machine be a gentle reminder: we don’t have to send them with everything. We can talk with our teens about what they’ll realistically need and use.

And let’s remind them, and ourselves, that their dorm experience doesn’t have to match the curated, picture-perfect one we see on social media.

Final Advice from One Parent to Another

Know what’s better than a coffee machine for their dorm room? Gift cards to the coffee shops on campus, where they can meet other students. A latte in the library, where they can chat with other students, quietly chat, does more for their sense of belonging than drinking coffee alone in their dorm. Building connections and making friends is a sure way for them to feel like campus is becoming their home away from home.

Full disclosure: We sent our first-year student to college with a Keurig, which is now in a box, in my basement (along with the throw pillows), quietly waiting to be reclaimed. Or perhaps to be sold to the highest bidder at a garage sale.

I asked my student if there was anything she wished she had in her dorm. Her answer: More hangers. For those 27 hoodies.